wow

I hadn't realize that it had been almost 2 weeks since I last posted. Well I have been pretty busy at home, I had a scrappy day with my friends at home. On that same day if you can believe I dislocated my shoulder can you say ouch!!! Yes I am still feeling the pain on that one. I am on meds for pain, but they put me to sleep so I really have only taken them twice and Motrin has been a lifesaver in the meantime. I have more SheArt Work done just have to post those. I just started the She has 3 hearts workshop, can wait to dig into that. In the meantime I created a layout finally of when I went to Madam Tussauds and took a photo with Lucy's wax look alike. I also went to the scrapbook Expo this past Saturday and purchased lots of goodies. My favorite were the ClearScraps acrylic albums and the mixables were on sale. Can you say Wahoo. Well here's my layout using the Cricut Imagine Kates Kitchen oh and these pattern papers from Cricut's Cartridge are totally fab colors. love these. Thanks for looking.

She Seeks Refuge

I decided to do my next SheArt Workshop on me, I used week 2 with a twist. A single photo of me, not a girl I cut out but me. I am seeking refuge.
The definition to Refuge: A condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.
I know that the only place I can feel safe and not so much safe but more like peace is when I can make it to Church. It's there where I feel safe, like I can be me cause God already knows what I'm going through I mean He can see the hurt, the emotions and the struggles of my heart and yet when I'm there I am comforted by His words. ^{Psalm 1} Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. Here's my project this week, as always thanks to Christy Tomlinson for creating this wonderful workshop.

At a loss for words...

I don't even know where to begin. I will begin with some of the emotions I'm feeling right now. Guilt, hopelessness, overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally exhausted, mentally exhausted. I have always said the mind can be your worst enemy. The thoughts can literally take over your entire body. I know nothing is making sense, but that is just how I feel. I can't take the pressure, I am shaking as I write this cause I know what I have been thinking. It's selfish really for me to think that if I end it everything will be alright afterwards. I have had a rough week even more this morning, I need help and I can't really ask for it. Why because my son is my responsibility, I don't see any hope in the near future still waiting for a residential but in the meantime I feel like a little piece of me is dying and wants to die. I cry as write this cause it's not easy to admit. I wish it was easy for me to commit myself into a hospital, but then what of my other kids my husband. Oh and if your wondering where is my husband in all this. He's here and he really is wonderful, but he really doesn't know how I feel. I'm afraid that if I tell him he will worry more, he has health issues and I don't want to stress him out. He tells me he worries about me, and I lie and tell him I'm okay, but I'm not. How can I feel this way? My mornings are probably the worst of my days, the stress of getting Chris ready trying to ignore the things he does or says. I even have Elisa my six yr old telling me Mom just ignore it. She's six yrs old, she shouldn't have to tell me what to do. She is such a bright little girl I always felt that having her later in age that she was a gift of God. When I chose her name I looked for the meaning and this is what I found is it's a form of Elizabeth a Hebrew name and Consecrated by God. What a wonderful blessing, how can I then feel this way even right now. Lord Jesus help me, and to my friends pray for me that I am able to mentally heal, it's not easy. Please don't judge my sharing what I'm feeling here, I just need to vent, to try to clear my mind. Write it down, so that who knows maybe just maybe in the next few months I can read this and say WOW God you brought healing and good friends my way. Thanks for reading