Friday, May 25, 2012

Don't Count Me Out...


I decided to create this layout in honor of God and how He truly has brought me full circle in the past year. Let me explain those who follow my blog may remember a post last yr. on May 6th to be exact. Here is an excerpt from that post "I don't even know where to begin. I will begin with some of the emotions I'm feeling right now. Guilt, hopelessness, overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally exhausted, mentally exhausted. I have always said the mind can be your worst enemy. The thoughts can literally take over your entire body. I know nothing is making sense, but that is just how I feel. I can't take the pressure, I am shaking as I write this cause I know what I have been thinking. It's selfish really for me to think that if I end it everything will be alright afterwards. I have had a rough week even more this morning, I need help and I can't really ask for it. Why because my son is my responsibility, I don't see any hope in the near future still waiting for a residential but in the meantime I feel like a little piece of me is dying and wants to die." That was just the beginning of my post I remember every emotion I was feeling that day, but I want to say that I am at such a different state of mind right now. As I continued to read that post I came to the end of the post which was "Lord Jesus help me, and to my friends pray for me that I am able to mentally heal, it's not easy. Please don't judge my sharing what I'm feeling here, I just need to vent, to try to clear my mind. Write it down, so that who knows maybe just maybe in the next few months I can read this and say WOW God you brought healing and good friends my way. So of course I said WOW and OMG Lord you are an awesome God, I have learned to deal through the difficult times, but it is only because of God's mercy on me. I realized that in order for me to heal I had be at my lowest and really come to God and leave it at His feet.
That is where the restoration began, this is where my healing began. The definition of restoration found on Dictionary.com:
1.the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment.
In order for God to restore me I had to surrender what I had , submit my life to Him, and commit to want to have a relationship with God for most of us this is difficult but I knew if I didn't do all of the above I couldn't be where I am today. RESTORED, RENEWED and OMG I am REVIVED I am ALIVE!!!!! I am not literally RICH, but I am spiritually RICH! So I am sharing this with you, because if today you feel as I did a year ago and felt hopeless I want you to know that there is hope in God. He will make a way so that you too can give testimony of God's miracle.

I created this layout titled "Don't count me out" I chose this title after listening to a Marvin Sapp song titled Don't count me out. You see God molded me, He made me, and He is building me up to be part of His Kingdom. These photos were taken at the Bronx Zoo 5k marathon by Joe Golden & Jeff Morey. I remember getting an email saying view the 5k photos and thought oh there is only one photo that I know of, but I didn't realize that when you finish the race there was a photographer there too. How awesome that he was able to capture that moment that even at the end of my race I lifted my hands up to say thank you Jesus. The photographer didn't know that, but I know that this was just a 5k race, everyday I live my life praising and living and knowing that when I finish the ultimate race of life the Lord our God will say you have done well my good and faithful servant. Thanks for stopping by Muah. Te quiero Mucho, Mucho! { I love you Much}

2 comments:

Jackie Serrano said...

An amazing story of God's love & how through it all he was there, waiting for you, to come to him. God has began a work in you and there is so much more...you are a blessing and loved by many. Thank you for sharing.

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

You are a beautiful woman -- inside and out!!!! I loveeeeeeeeeeee your lo! LOVING those photos, the title and love love love love the flowers!!