The other most important celebration for me was a personal one, it was my commitment to God, it was about fellowship, and unity. It has been a wonderful year of just being a child of God, many may not understand this and that's alright, but for those of you who know me can truly appreciate what I'm about to share. I really love where I am at with my relationship with the Lord, it's not easy by any means and I struggle daily, but I seek strength from God.
In 2011 I decided I would choose a word to encourage me through out the year, it was GROW! When I first thought of this word honestly it was hobby related I wanted to grow in my creativity, brave the world of Design Teams and just submit. I did make a few teams, not only did I love where I was going in my creative process, but that October I began my commitment to focus on God. It was important for me to redevelop that relationship that I had I was determine that no one would break that bond. Easier said than done, I managed and I could see God's hand in my growth. We ended that year CELEBRATING in church, it was awesome.
In 2012 I chose the word STRONG this for me was a difficult word, but I knew that my God would give me the strength to overcome any obstacles that may come and believe me 2012 was not an easy year for my family and I. There were many times I wondered how much more must I endure, but all the while God gave me strength. I would be reminded of my word and the verse from Psalm 31:24 So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord. For a little while I gave up, had a really bad day and thought Lord this is it I'm not doing it no more I can't it's not fair. I am not SUPERWOMAN as Alicia Keys sings. I felt as though all hope was lost I decided I would go continue going to church but just not fellowship. I didn't want to open my heart to hurt, disappointments, or just not meeting to anyone's expectations. I really didn't want to be a part of, just tried to say to myself Just GOD that's all you need. Yeah okay, that was difficult as the pastor kept preaching UNITY it seemed week to week or Be Still and I would say Lord I'm here I'm not leaving just feel as I can't no I wont be part of. I will do my part and that's it. Yes this was the argument I would have with God, but the message was Unity. I think mostly I was afraid no I know I was. Then something happened one Sept. Saturday, some of the youth as well as Brother Jimmy & to my surprise his wife Martha came over to pick up some things to take to the church when all of the sudden Emily my daughter who is never awake on a Saturday at 9am said hey I'm making breakfast you staying right. In my head I'm like no, I need my time. I am so glad now looking back because even though Emily may not see it this way God used her to allow me to really know this couple, to share dreams and hopes that I would love to see in our church but I confessed to them I didn't want to be a part of, I didn't see or feel this UNITY it was at that moment I realized OMG Lord forgive me because I can see that I was part of this problem of not wanted to be a part of there was no Unity because in my heart I didn't want it because then it meant that I was part of. Can I say that I truly enjoy being a part of so much so that after spending a few days on my vacation I came back spoke to the pastor and said I want to be a part of this church once again. I knew that God was truly working in me He was giving me the courage and strength not to fear being a part to something great. I embraced UNITY, so much so that I cry as I write this because I truly see how God continues to mold me. I share this with you because it's my testimony of what God is doing in my life that all started with one little word Strong(2012).