I am fearfully and wonderfully made...

I created this layout for My Paper Tree House. I loved the prompt, and knew right away what Bible verse encourages me even in my darkest hours. It is Psalms 139, I remember the first time I read 17yrs ago I was in a class for newly converted Christians where we were given Bible lessons. The Pastor asked me to read it, and as I did the tears began to flow, at the time he didn't realize my past and where I came from but God knew that I had to read it. He knew that it was important for me to know that He loved me from the moment I was conceived, but in my mind I thought how can it be how could HE know. Will he knew because He was there, that is what this Psalm is saying. Why was it important to me? Because as a child I was always told that I was conceived from a violent crime. RAPE. I was told on more than one occasion that the reason I was born was because abortion was not legal in 1966. It should never had reached my ears but it did so I always felt unwanted, unloved but to know that my God was there can you imagine what a burden that lifted. Knowing that God was there and that I was not hidden from Him in the secret place. Yes for the Bible to have it just like that in verse 15 "My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of earth". Wow what a revelation I was not a secret from God, because I was fearfully and wonderfully made. God has all the days ordained for me written in His book. You see then in 1966 God had a purpose for me, it was to know Him, Love Him, Worship Him and my God thank Him because even when I am at my lowest, or in my darkest hour He is alive and well in me, He is my comforter, and my refuge. Thank you to Nana Campana who reminded me by posting this challenge what an Amazing God I serve.

So Thankful

for really good friends, and especially to my sister Millie. Yesterday I had a terrible day, it seems one of my worst moments and the month has just begun. As most of you know my son Chris who is Downs Syndrome has really been acting up. Really he's 25 yrs old but for some odd reason he is going through his terrible two's. From temper tamtrums to just being stubborn, it is driving me nuts. Well yesterday I finally broke, I mean really just broke down in the street crying because he refused to get on the bus, he stood his ground and said nope I'm not going. Now if you know any child with special needs, then you know that once they stand their ground it's like a force within them and you just can't move them. He began the morning with an attitude, and began his ritual of saying I hate this, I hate that. I knew it was going to be a bad one, but I just couldn't take it anymore and my body and emotions gave in. I just cried told the bus driver to leave, and then just cried, but in that hopeless moment one of my good friends was walking by and started talking to Chris, in this same moment the matron got off the bus went over to me and just Hugged me and said everything is going to be okay, you need to relax we will try to get him to get on the bus. The bus Driver and GOD BLESS this driver parked the bus and made sure along with my friend that Chris got on this bus. I was crying uncontrollably my friend told me to go inside get myself together, my nerves were so bad that I started throwing up, called his social coordinator and told her I can't do this anymore HELP me please. So we made a few calls and yesterday I carried out the decision that has laid heavily in my heart, and with tears and anguish but yet taking comfort from the social worker on the phone, knowing that I have made the right decision. It's not easy, for me and yet some people may judge me, but you don't walk in my shoes to fully understand what an emotional and tormenting year this has been. I love my son Chris, that is without a doubt he made me a MOM first, it was because of him that I wanted more children. He was so loving, and sometimes I still see that but I think that he is ready for far more than I can give him. I'm still emotional about it all, and though I've made the decision doesn't mean that it all happens overnight, and that is probably good cause it gives me time to adjust to it all.To my friend Lissette who saw me at my worst, thank you for the beautiful yellow roses you made my night a little brighter. To my sister Millie, thank you for being so supportive and for being there not only for me, but for Elisa too. You taking her to school for me to ensure that she gets there on time, and so that I can deal with Chris has been a blessing. Thanks for reading, please continue to pray for us.

Thank you Basic Grey

 
for creating these fabulous card kits that my 5 yr old could enjoy being a card maker for the day. That's what Elisa and I did yesterday, she was pretty sick with a horrible cough and I didn't want to take her out. We were going to go to the New York Botanical Garden yesterday, but it was too cold to be outdoors and be sick at the same time so instead we created. She was so excited, she ran to Daddy and said guess what we are going to do today he says what? she says scrapbooking woo hoo finally. We were just cracking up. So thank you Basic Grey for making it easy for her to create her cards. 

Mental Scrapbooking

lol that was my conversation today with 3 of my friends. How funny and true that is, as much as we may want to scrap when we sit down nothing happens it's like you have lost your mojo. Or maybe it's the circumstance and you just don't have the time and you are mentally scrapping. What about those dreams, how many of us dream of our next project. Girl let me tell you as Tanisha Long always says Scrapbooking is in our minds,  and even when you have lost your mojo you are thinking about it. So today I decided to put  some of my mental scrapbooking down on paper. LOL Here is what I created.

A love like this, Un amor asi....

I have been itching to scrap since I cleaned up my scrappy mess area. I just had not been feeling well, but today I took the time to create this layout of my husband and I. I love this photo of us, I used the Scarlet lime kit love the mix of pattern papers and embellishments that were included in this kit. As soon as I saw the background paper I knew I had to use our initials on it! As if I were to carve it on a tree. I used smooch spritz for the masking really love the outcome of this layout. It's titled un amor asi, which means A love like this!!! Simple yet productive layout!!! thanks for looking

A new attitude

Yes that is what I have now, not that I was a snob or anything. LOL It's just the way I have to see life right now with a new attitude, that no matter how wrong things may go in the day I have to remain just a wee bit positive. You see a few weeks ago before I left for my scrapbooking retreat with my girlfriends, I was in a deep depression the bad thing was all the thoughts that were taking over my mind. To be honest it was UGLY, I cried cause emotionally and mentally I was at my lowest. Has my situation changed actually NO, I still have to deal with the sucky part of everyday life, but I had to do something for me. Some of my friends suggested a Doctor, I didn't want to go there because I was afraid I'd get addicted to pills and my only addiction right now is purchasing scrapbook goodies.  What could I do I thought? What besides scrapping is a stress releaser,  well I did some research and found that exercise is a great way to release stress. I have been wanting to take some Zumba classes because a scrapbooking friend I know named Becky Schweninger Teichmiller has been expressing her love for Zumba. So I thought hey I can dance I can do this, I looked into a Gym that offered Zumba classes and I would still be able to use their equipment at a great price. Well I have taken it a step further, I now have a personal trainer why not? I need to lose weight as well as the stress. I have been feeling Great about me, has my environment  changed NO  but I have a new attitude now so I look at things differently.

Here's a pic of my DH and me you can see how my weight loss will progress from here.

Getaway weekend

Last weekend a few of us from our local Meetup went to Quick Quotes Private Reserve weekend. To be honest I didn't know what to expect, but I had a great time with my scrapping buddies and I made new ones. I really enjoyed Michelle the instructor for the weekend. Everyone at Quick Quotes was genuinely happy to speak with! They had great giveaways, my favorite was the canvas projects. Well here are just some of the project I created of course I tweaked mine, but in the end used a lot of the products given to me. Quick Quotes projects below:

 another one of my favorites which I probably followed to the tee, except for the ribbon tied around the photo. I loved this project so much I purchased another to take home so I can make the identical for my daughters best friend

this was one of my favorite projects, all the papers in the kit included black & white, but I used Glitz pattern paper and used the diecuts Quick Quotes provided for my mask and frames

this next one project I was using all Girls Paperie Pattern Papers, love the soft colors in this line. Lots of Prima too!

thanks for looking now to finish a chipboard album using G45 papers